感恩~Thankful

卢奂蒽，记得你的座右铭。
“现在的苦将会是我以后幸福的代价~”

预了有这样的结果就勇敢地去接受。。。。
千万不要放弃。。这只是开始。。
不是永远也是这样，也不想永远这样。。。

Yes..The news had out...
And it is the same as i expected...
No doubt once i knew it...My mood were kinda down intially..
But then...I remember those words which i ever told myself....
The bitterness you having right now is the pay back of the sweetness of mine in the future..


I must hang on and have faith on myself...
I knew this is hard and i have zero experience on what i am doing right now...
I knew i have to catch up very hard and fast ASAP...
In the same time I have to worry about some personal stuffs..


IF i am the PAST me....
I would feel super down,depressed,emo,and everything which is bad...
I even dont have the motivation to work double hard on it...
I dont even want to overcome the problem..
Watch myself get drown day by day.....


But today...I have to tell everybody...
Vivian has grown up...
With you,you and yours supports....
And with my own heart...
I want to overcome it myself...
I want to work more hard to have a better life..
I want to make myself more happy and enjoy but work in the same time..
I really want to enjoy the process from bitter to sweet...


This is how i want to be..
This is my destiny..
Doesn't matter am i in love with somebody else..
I just wanna put this aside...
and focus on my own dreams...
Mummy and sis always told me..
"Have you own dream 1st before you have OUR dream"


I try to digest the words...
I understand what they mean and their concern towards me.... =')
For the past few years I've been always showing my WEAK part of me...
Because I used to be loved by someone else...and even doesnt know how to take care of myself by the end of the days...
I always cry when problems came to me...I dont know how to deal with it...
I always hoping that someone would stand out and rescue me..


NOW..i think back...
Why am i being so weak and soft hearted all the time as actually i can be stronger..
Why would i don't even know how to take care of myself when nobody around....
_________________________________________________________________
^_^Sounds stupid huh? hehe~i know...
I've been gone through all these almost half years....


Only this few weeks i started to be more aggressif and stay positive...
1st of all i have to thanks my dear cousin sis...
She taught me how to be strong...
She brought me to her company and taught me alot...
From zero to basic.
From lazy to hard working
From being quiet to talkative


Ahhh...so sweet and "spicy" of here LOL..


2nd,I have to thanks to my dear parents...
I am always speechless on what they had done to me..
Only my parents can make my tears drop out within 10 seconds(Proud of it~ Teehee =p)..
I dont know why but they always gave me a call when i am very depressed and feel lonely..
I always hold back my tears when i am talking on the phone with them..Even now....I.....urrhh.. =')
Anyway~Thank you for always supporting me and believe me in what i am doing..
I really feel i am the most HANG FUK daughter in the world..♥♥♥


Lastly...I would like to say a big THANK to myself and would like to give myself applaus~!
Because i willing to change and accept who am I really ~! =D
I listen to my own heart...I give myself warmness....
The most important..I gave myself 2nd chance...
And i did it~! very first step^^
I believe i can do better in the future...
I promise myself would LOVE myself more and more...


Thank you to all my friends being nice and warm to me whenever i had sad expression on my face =D
Thank you for you guys patient~
Thank you for forgiving me what i did in the past(which is extremely i feel wrong)


BIG BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU....
Never give up on  your dreams
Dreams can always be true if you have faith on it ~ ^_^*

Some words for yoU..yOU & YOU

Hi guys..its me again..
Humm.....yea..if you notice my blog..
You would saw that almost 60% about my title is about EMO stuff..
Because...ONLY when i am not happy or i am all alone...
Blog out is the best way to release it out....
I don't have the guts to share it to anyone....
So this post is mainly to few anonymous.....
Dont feel 


To anonymous (1) 
Hi...do you think i changed?
Do you think those words i've been warn you is just a *joke*
or do you think i said that because u thought i am angry and jealous on what you had?
NO... i said it to you just for you and our safetyness..
If you felt i had offense you...then i have nothing to say....
I dont feel like i am a part of you anymore...
NO...I dont feel...
I felt that i had been left out.....WHY?
From where or who told you that i've been changed?
I had been trying so hard to prove you that i can survive alone in here..
BUT why....You seems like always misunderstood me...
I might be very lonely here and pressure here..
But i refuse to tell you that just because i dont want you to be worry..
Why dont you just dont understand....Disappointed..
I am really clueless on how am i going to deal with you anymore...
tell me......what you want from me?????
I TRIED MY BEST 

</3

To anonymous (2)

I know recently i had been negleted you quit some time..

But i hope you understand....my career just started....and...I am still trying hard to survive in a unfamiliar place

When everytime i am lost...i cried...u always bring me back...

No matter how far are you....i still can feel ur warmness towards me..

No matter how bad tempered are you..you are still that kind in front of me..

I must be lucky....not everyone can meets a good friend like you in their lifes..

I always hope that u ar my neighbourhood...

so that when everytimei feel lonely or sad or even happy wanna share with you..

I can just climb over ur roof top and knock ur balcony glass...Hoping that you would open it and let me in....

I always hope one day you would call me saying that you miss me and need me now..

I guess i am very glad to tell you i did misses you too...=')

Is this call...SO CLOSE...YET ...SO FAR.....

MIRACLE is the best word to desrcibe our friendship...

is that so ...oppa?

Anyway...I hope you do very well on ur studies...

but without my wishes...i guess u would also do very well too..

Promise me....one day...you will come to look for me...

I'll always wait ........always...

Finally my last message is for all of you....

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Songs.....

Before i start this .....Let me ask you guys...
What is the name of the song when u 1st heard?
i mean..** POP** songs....teeheee....memories..ekk?



OKAY fine..=.= i will let you guys figure it out yourself..
Anyway~it just a random post....
^^
well...ME...the 1st ever pop song i had heard is a sweet song from Jay Chou..
Yea....he brought me to this music world...and i cant live without it until now=)
**not JAY CHOU lah...its MUSIC ...**

simple love-Jay chou

I guess its out at year 2001?

anyway~it Brought me back lotta memories..

2nd ques...Who were your favourite band at the past???

hehehehhehehe~

MINE...the 1st boy band i ever like is..ENERGY

Eddie start from left, KunDa,Milk,TORO(my favourite^^)and wei

Taiwanese Boy band..

imma like only 13 or 14 years old when i like them^^ 

OTHER BOY BAND at that time is like...

TENSION

**sorry...sho mini **

 and 5566

UGGHHHH...honestly

i dun like this group....

But I PUT IT HERE...

just becoz...this 3 group...

is the most famous one...at that time..ahahhahahahahhaha~

SO.....how bout the english one?????

YEA...of course..the 1st english i know is BRITNEY SPEARS^^

awwww~such a sweetheart^^

1st song of her i like~~~^_^

and then..who elsee....hunph...

 oh!!!

BSB!!!!!

ahhhh!!!!

and and and

N'SYNC!!!!

GOSH....I AM UNSTOPPABLE ..

I KNOW..=P

and then..back when i am 15 and 16...

it was..

GOOD CHARLOTTE

SIMPLE PLAN

Just abreaction.....

I had run out of words..
I know thers alot of stuff running in my mind right now..
But i am really speechless....
Everything is about lifeeeee.....
Why do i live?? Why do i live in this world...?
Why do i have to consider so much stuff and people's mind before i made my decision..
Why do i have to care about other feelings hoping that other people will cares about me too..

Recently i am not in a good mood..
Always wanted to express my feelings in Facebook..
Once i wrote... I have no guts to leave the message for at least 5 minutes.
I will just delete it away...
Why did i change into a person like this???

You know i previously looks like???
I like to chit chat with my dears and darlings..
I like to share my happiness and sadness to my babes..
But recently...I rather keep the matters or problems to myself...
Swallow everything up...suck it up and SMILE..of course..fake..

Since when i changed till like this huh???
Kinda scary... But i dont want this to continue...
I am looking for a way to relase myself..my tension...
I want to release it asap...
Just give me some time....when everything going smooth..on the right step...
I guess i will be fine...

Packing up my stuff is kinda tiring..i really will miss my homey....
and the memories around here...
Well..maybe this is one of the reason which keep me emo like this..
I need something to concerntrate..so that i wont think so much...
Forget about everything here...emotions...happinees...sadness...

Well..i guess someone would say..Life is like a roller coaster...
Maybe i should think like him/her too...just accept whats happenning infront of me right now and HIT it.. =)

fuhhhh...enough of my abreaction...i feel so tired today...
i guess i would just skip my dinner...have a nice shower..then sleep =)
Tomorrow will be more tiring...Have a good good night and sweet dreams pal  <3 =)

Another stage of My Life has begin..

Yea...as what i had mentioned on my headline above...
Another stage of my Life has begin....
I had ended my student lifes...and now..
I am going to work....which is not ID...
It a properties agent company....

Things happened very fast today..
Let just make it short and simple here...
I woke up...went to college to pass my Final CD ..
I got my result..housemate told me a bad news which her side there cant hire me as i am a fresh graduted student
I get dissapointed and went to the cafe..sit down..eat..
I texted to my cousin sis...asked her whether she have any slots for me in her company..
She say yes..
Then i asked...can i go and interview..
she say why not...NOW...come..
I was so shock and my friend tapped me from behind...
asked me to go upstairs and take my result...
My final result turns out with two A's which is i already feel very happy and appreciated..
Called my mum and cousin sis...
I immediately took a cab to her place...
Finally i met the boss...he is an italian...a nice and funny guy..
Chit Chat ..talking some stuff..asked me some question..of course..random one..
and this is it..he talked to me :" WELCOME TO REI"
and......I AM IN.... =) 
I got the job...  **thank god**...


ahhhhhh~i feel released.....and i must thank my cousin sis for giving me such opportunity...will definitely appreciate that....I never thought of this day*work* would come so fast....


of course...i have a good news...and also a bad news in the same time...
I have to shift to Ampang start from next week =(
I would definitely misses my lovely housemate here...zhe,ivy,osscar and ben...=(
I really like this place..and my lovely little cozy room =(....

but what to do? human must learn how to get over it and get adapt to different places and enviroment..


I know i can do it....Btw...i still have the help from my cousin sis and her bf...
I think...it shouldnt be a big problem from me.. =)
One last thing...the person i would definitely miss.....ehemmm**wanted to keep him private**
After i starts to work..i got seldom time to see him anymore ..having intimate times with him anymore =(
I didnt lie...i really do miss him..even only since yesterday i saw him..yet i feel like it's been decade i never see him...
Ahhh...yet i still afraid to watch him through his eyes....and i know...u know the reason why..
hmmmm..its ok...time will prove.....


Same goes to my job....time will prove...and i know i can be better and better....
I have faith on myself.. =)

P/s: Guys and girls...Do you ever heard an italin guy scolding bad words infront of a printer before? I Do..And it sounds super hilarious..=D...okay~enough of the crap...have to sleep early and prepare for shifting my house tomorrow..good night darling and babes..i misses you..you..and you =)